Thursday, May 22, 2014

Simplethings

GIRLS was better than usual tonight. All 4 episodes. F.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

...who you used to be.



Seriously needed to read this today.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Content Doesn't Mean Complacent

I am fairly convinced that the more content you are, the easier it is to change.

Before, it felt like running. Before, it was a desperate scramble to escape from perceived flaw.

Now, it is a move towards the next chapter. Now, it is living every day authentically with purpose and direction.

The romance of living in the city, walking and riding my bike to work has been fulfilled. Working at a 'real' job instead of in education has been realized. It is all part of the process. Life likes to fool us into thinking that there is an ultimate goal. Nope.

There are very few elements and people that will pull on my heartstrings as I say goodbye. The city is comfortable, at most. A number of personalities will always be in my life, regardless of my zip code, but I can list them on two hands. Which is healthy, I suppose.

No, it is time to move on. Last year would have been forced and frantic. This year it is right.

Hello, New Job, New State, New Life. I always loved living amidst cornfields. Time for some big sky county and refocusing - everything.

Now to enjoy some vacationing travels before the real travels begin. *swoon*



Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Three months in . . .

It has taken a few months for this year's intention to seep in.

Relentlessly.

To meander it's way through the cracks and fill in all the little momentary voids that make up the decisions that form our lives.

Relentlessly.

To manifest itself in a overwhelmingly fierce way that keeps you from ever doubting it's existence.

Relentlessly.

As of this week, though, I have felt the pull of a new intentional habit starting to take precedence over the inertia of my year-long mental summer vacation. Before three hard-hitting actions taken today I felt as though I was still just flowing along with the occasional self inflicted pep-talk. Nope, today shit happened. And it felt good. Really good.

Relentlessly asking questions...
Relentlessly checking off checklists...
Relentlessly reliable...
Relentlessly not taking shit...
Relentlessly being honest...
Relentlessly going after whatever the hell it is I want to do for the rest of my life...
Relentlessly loving, respecting, and giving...

Plans change, lives change, addresses change, but intentions stay the same. I feel like I have hit a huge reset button on my life since leaving teaching, while at the same time finally connecting my past to my future instead of reinventing and going on an entirely new path. Super. Weird. Feeling.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Gayatri

In the end
when these bones

are only bones

all that matters
is how much we gave,

how much we loved.



http://www.last.fm/music/Benjy+Wertheimer/_/Gayatri

Monday, March 3, 2014

You Can't Eat Beauty

Oscar Winner Lupita Nyong'o's Speech On Beauty That Left An Entire Audience Speechless:

"It was perplexing and I wanted to reject it because I had begun to enjoy the seduction of inadequacy. But a flower couldn’t help but bloom inside of me. When I saw Alek I inadvertently saw a reflection of myself that I could not deny. Now, I had a spring in my step because I felt more seen, more appreciated by the far away gatekeepers of beauty, but around me the preference for light skin prevailed. To the beholders that I thought mattered, I was still unbeautiful. And my mother again would say to me, "You can’t eat beauty. It doesn’t feed you." And these words plagued and bothered me; I didn’t really understand them until finally I realized that beauty was not a thing that I could acquire or consume, it was something that I just had to be.

And what my mother meant when she said you can’t eat beauty was that you can’t rely on how you look to sustain you. What is fundamentally beautiful is compassion for yourself and for those around you. That kind of beauty enflames the heart and enchants the soul."



Sunday, February 16, 2014

It's Only Love That Gets You Through

Sade is one of my go-to artists when I am not quite sure what to put on the speaker box. Lovers Rock is, by far, her best album with Solder of Love (for me) a close second. A friend's post on the facebooks reminded me of her love-centric lyrics, so I put a few of her albums on shuffle on the Friday evening drive to Birmingham. Despite the fact I have heard this song hundreds of times, it finally made sense that night. It is undoubtably her least romantic song (next to Pearls or Immigrant) but now it is tied as a top favorite.

I mean, shit, with three simple, poetic, verses she paints a picture of strength through the emotion we most associate with vulnerability; perseverance and victory through the trials of whatever life the subject has experienced up until this point. It is about not letting bitterness and resentment be your foundation-regardless of your past. Maybe one day, when I write those seven years all down--when it is all out in the open--it will make more sense. Until then, I will just say that this is the perfect Valentines Day song this year. Because, honestly, as cliche as it sounds, it reminds us that we don't need someone To Love in order to love. We just need to, well, love. The rest takes care of itself.

It's Only Love That Get's You Through - Sade
Girl you are rich even with nothing
And you know tenderness comes from pain
It's amazing how you love
And love is kind and love can give
And get no gain

It's down a rugged road you've come
Though you had every reason
You didn't come undone
Somehow you made it to the other side
You didn't suffer in vain

You forgive those who have trespassed against you
And you know tenderness comes from pain
It's amazing how you love
And love is kind and love can give
And love needs no gain



*Smooth Operator came out the year I was born. Sade is also the hottest and oldest Diva. Ever.