Most Ordinary by Susan Piver
Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong what is against it. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
We are our most potent at our most ordinary. And yet most of us discount our “ordinary” because it is, well, ordinary. Or so we believe. But my ordinary is not yours. Three things block us from putting down our clever and picking up our ordinary: false comparisons with others (I’m not as good a writer as _____), false expectations of ourselves (I should be on the NYTimes best seller list or not write at all), and false investments in a story (it’s all been written before, I shouldn’t bother). What are your false comparisons? What are your false expectations? What are your false investments in a story? List them. Each keep you from that internal knowing about which Emerson writes. Each keeps you from making your strong offer to the world. Put down your clever, and pick up your ordinary.~~~~~~
1) What are my false comparisons?
I compare myself to dancers who are working professionals or people who have been doing it for much longer than myself. As a fiercely competitive person that pushes it all underneath I struggle with feeling less than amazing. I have to constantly remind myself that my life path is not to be a famous dancer. I love dancing, I love the challenge, social circle, and joy it gives me -- but I am not going to dedicate 100% of my time and energy into it. I have other things to give the world. I have mad respect for the people that put their heart and soul into it, but I have to remind myself that since I am not one of those people, the result (my level of dancing) is just never going to be the same. (I am actually going to write a mildly controversial post about dancing/teaching and that whole concept soon...still working on formulating my thoughts)
In terms of my job/career I tend to compare myself to people who have been doing it for 20+ years. Guys that started teaching Tech Ed when it was shop, and used band saws instead of keyboards. Hmmm...I know that I have a hefty knowledge base, work experience, and two degrees so why do I compare myself? Well, being a female under the age of 30 does not give you much street cred when you walk in the door. I am constantly having to prove myself and over-discuss topics for anyone to give me any kind of respect. Grrrrr...
2)What are my false expectations?
I guess I keep expecting people to give me more recognition without proving myself so much. But, I am a firm believer in hard work paying off. Weird combination.
3) What are my false expectations in a story?
I am ready to move forward in my career -- and am doing what is necessary to make that happen. But, I buy into the feeling that I am just not good enough. There is no way that I could ever be the director of GA TSA. I am so young, and no one would take me seriously. But, then I turn around and say holy crap, I am so overqualified for this position why would they even bother looking at other applicants? I have content knowledge, teaching experience, leadership experience, event organizing experience, and a solid track record of promotions. Insert expletive.
It is difficult not to buy into the story that I am not an adult with a strong resume. So easy to keep feeling like I am just fresh outta college...
I must admit. I am not a huge fan of this post. It took me forever to write it and I kept getting distracted. Boo.