During an extremely random search on the psychology behind smiles (don't ask) I stumbled on this blog. Written by a woman I would love to meet someday, she outlines what she finds to be traits of people who can say "Stick it." to the stress and changes in life and make shit happen in a positive and healthy way. How is your stress-hardiness?
On another, somewhat related note, I watched the movie Invictus for the first time this weekend. Damn, that is a good movie.
Traits of Stress-Hardy, Resilient People
1. They have a sense of meaning, direction, and purpose. They are value-centered rather than reactive and defensive. They understand that emotions are great sources of energy and motivation but are often poor guides for action. Instead these people use their values as guidesThey realize that the quality of our lives depends on how we focus our energy and our attention. They try to align their thoughts and actions with their values. They know how to motivate themselves to take action.
2. They don’t judge themselves or others harshly when things go wrong. They focus on what they want, not on what they don’t want.
3. They are able to tolerate ambiguity, uncertainty, and imperfection. They have a long-range perspective, so they give themselves and others room to grow. They can afford to be resilient, flexible, and creative because they are centered in their values.
4. They are reasonably optimistic and have a sense of humor. Even though they are dedicated to doing things well, they don’t take themselves too seriously.
5. They take responsibility for their mental programming, their emotions, and their actions. If they have ineffective ways of thinking and behaving, they evaluate them and make appropriate changes.
6. They look at adversity as a challenge rather than as a threat. They realize that no matter how the present situation turns out, they will learn and grow from it.
7. They respect themselves and other people. They have a spirit of cooperation, looking for win-win solutions rather than trying to win over other people or ignoring their own wants and needs because of fear.
8. They are grateful for the good things in their lives.
9. They know how to mourn the inevitable losses in life. They know how to let go of things they have no control over.